Friday, November 1, 2013

Witches of East End Recap, Episode 4


This was a great episode. The pace picks up. A LOT.

We open up with a flashback to 1693. Joanna is running through a forest dressed in Puritan garb. She reaches a clearing where two burnt corpses hang from scorched poles. A man tells her that it was unavoidable. Her girls were reckless with their powers. The camera closes in on his face and we realize it’s the shifter.

Okay, that was unexpected. I thought it would be a couple of episodes before we found out the shifter’s back story.

Joanna realizes that the shifter turned the girls in to the witch-hunters. She attacks him with her magic then takes out a knife and stabs him.

Cue opening credits. 

We shift to the Beauchamp kitchen, circa 2013. It turns out that Joanna didn’t stab Max Headroom. She only cut off his ear. Freya is pretty impressed.

Joanna tells the girls that witches don’t kill. This seems to contradict the flashbacks from the last episode, but whatevs. Maybe “don’t kill” was Joanna’s New Year’s resolution in 1952.

Joanna lectures the girls on using magic responsibly. Aunt Wendy walks in and uses the sink ‘s sprayer attachment to create a snowstorm.

Aunt Wendy is fabulous. I want to be Aunt Wendy when I grow up.

Harrison, the immortal lawyer arrives.

Change of scene to chat with the school principal who is testifying on Johanna’s behalf. Apparently, he’s a character witness. Joanna and Harrison take the principal to the court.

We are now in Dash’s bedroom. Freya’s standing by the window. Dash has chocolate brown drapes. Ugh. Freya has paisley pajamas that match the drapes. Double ugh. Hold on, I think Freya’s wearing Dash’s pajama top. That means Dash has paisley pajamas that match his drapes. Eek.

Dash and Freya talk about how his mom doesn’t like her. Blah, blah, blah. I have the feeling that Dash’s mom picked the drapes and pajamas. That settles it. Dash’s mom is evil.

Back to the library. Ingrid’s friend shows Ingrid her baby’s sonogram. Blah, blah, blah, dream come true, only thanks to you, will you be the godmother…

Back at Fairhaven, Freya goes to talk with Dash’s mom. She’s trying to suck up to her future in-law. Good call, Freya. Penelope is gazing wistfully at a photograph. The photograph is of Dash and Killian hugging each other. Virginia Madsen looks fabulous. I want her black and white kimono cover-up. Want. Dash’s mom names her price. She wants a family dinner with both Dash and Killian. Freya looks like she’d rather swim through shark-infested waters, but promises to do her best.

We go to the bar, where the Beauchamps are celebrating. Things went well in the court house. The attack survivor (I forgot her name) confronts them and accuses Joanna. Wendy steps forward and the attack survivor starts choking. The Beauchamps leave and the choking woman starts to bleed.

Aunt Wendy is badass.

Check out the pretty necklace
 Harrison and Joanna visit the scene of the attack. Joanna is wearing a gorgeous blue necklace. She casts a spell and has a vision. She sees the shifter killing the school principal. She tells Harrison that they have to stop the shifter. Joanna got a good look at the principal's clothes and clock so she knows the attack will occur tonight at 8 p.m.

Ingrid and Freya finish their lunch. Adam turns up and confirms his date with Ingrid tonight. Freya tells her sister that she can tell that Ingrid’s in love. Ingrid starts to panic about the “someone you love will die” thing. Killian walks by and Freya decides to ask him to the family dinner.

Killian is not too enthusiastic about the family dinner, but Freya bats her eyelashes and he, reluctantly, agrees.

The attack survivor is at the hospital. Dash is the attending physician. He checks her throat and looks confused. He takes out a huge pair of tweezers and pulls something out of her throat. The camera closes up on a large plant-like growth. It’s beyond gross. Really, Aunt Wendy is badass times one thousand. Strangely enough, Dash does not freak out when he sees the creepy growth. Interesting.

Back at the Beauchamp kitchen, Aunt Wendy is researching rare butterflies. Hey, witches use Google! She pulls up a profile of a handsome entomologist. Freya comes in. She needs a spell to make the boys come to dinner tonight. Aunt Wendy is happy to help.

Joanna and Harrison go to the principal’s house. The house is a really cute Arts and Crafts bungalow. The East End School District must pay well.

We are now in the nondescript hallway of an anonymous apartment building. The cute entomologist is opening his door, but he is distracted by a black cat. He follows the cat into the stairwell and comes face to face with Aunt Wendy. Naked Aunt Wendy, that is. Way to go, Wendy.

Commercial break.

Would you like to see my bug collection?

Freddi Prinze Jr. plays a great flustered-entomologist-in-front-of-naked woman. It’s his best role. He invites Wendy to his apartment and lends her a shirt. His apartment is pretty amazing. He has a leather couch, tribal masks, African sculptures and a lot of specimen cases. It’s all very J.Peterman-meets-E.O. Wilson.

Back at the principal’s house, Joanna has made him dinner. She’s waiting for the shifter who seems to be late. She has the vision again.

We're now in the library, Adam has arranged for a romantic dinner for Ingrid. This is so cute. I wish a guy would arrange for dinner in the library. He doesn’t know how to cook so he made sandwiches. Aw, Adam is adorable.

Ingrid is disturbed and tries to break up with him. Blah, blah, blah… don’t want you to be hurt, life’s too complicated, I can’t do this right now, It’s not you it’s me… Adam is confused. Ingrid runs out of the library.

Back at the Beauchamp kitchen, Freya is doing a spell with the photograph. The image fades in and out. This does not look good.
Heeeeello, Bug Boy...

The entomologist shows Wendy his rare butterfly. Way to impress a girl, dude. He also has a display case full of tarantulas and a drawer full of scorpions. I’m guessing he doesn’t get lucky very often. Wendy seems to like him, but she still spills a glass of wine on him and tries to steal his butterfly. She tries to make her escape, but the entomologist comes out of the bedroom, shirtless. Wow, Freddie Prinze Jr. is built. “Heeeello, Bug Boy” is the new “Heeeello, Nurse.” Aunt Wendy decides that it would be rude to steal someone’s precious entomological specimen without giving him a good boinking. Go Aunt Wendy!

Harrison and Joanna are still at the principal’s house. Harrison is snooping around. He finds the table with the creepy mystical tableaux, including pictures of Joanna and the girls. He’s attacked.

Freya goes to the family dinner. She finds Killian playing the piano. She asks him what tune he’s playing and Killian tells her that it’s something he composed a long time ago. He used to write and play music, but he broke his hand and gave it up. He leaves to get some wine. Dash arrives and kisses Freya. Killian comes in and sees the kiss. He’s not happy.

Ingrid is walking home with her pregnant friend. They talk about Adam. The friend suddenly bends over in pain, screaming. Uh oh.

Back at the mansion, Killian tries to bail out of the dinner. His mom comes in with takeout food. Killian still leaves. Dash gets called to the hospital, there’s an emergency. It’s just Freya and Penelope for dinner. Jenna Dewan Tatum’s fake smile is fabulous.

Joanna is still at the principal’s house. She is looking for Harrison. She opens a closet and finds a corpse in a plastic bag. It’s the school principal. She runs out and the shifter, still in his borrowed form, attacks her with the hairy doll. Joanna collapses and the shifter turns back into Max Headroom.
Back the entomologist’s apartment. There’s lit candles everywhere. Freddie Prinze Jr. is asleep on the worn leather so. Wendy leaves, taking the butterfly. Aw, she didn’t leave him her number. Bummer. I hope the entomologist comes back. They’re a cute couple and Aunt Wendy could use a straight-arrow foil.

Dash’s mom and Freya have dinner. They talk about Killian. Blah, blah, blah.
Ingrid is at the hospital waiting to hear whether her friend will be OK. She feels that this is all her fault. It is, Ingrid, it is.

Back at the principal’s house, the shifter attacks Joanna with a hot poker. He burns her ear.
Commercial break.

Joanna is lying on the floor and the shifter approaches her with the poker. Harrison sneaks up behind the shifter, grabs the hairy doll and throws it in the fireplace. Joanna’s powers return, she heals her wound and attacks the shifter. The shifter turns back into the principal as she stabs down with the poker, just as in her vision. Before dying, the shifter tells her that he’s not her main enemy. Someone else is out there. Joanna looks distraught.

Back at the mansion, Freya and Dash play the piano and chat. Blah, blah, blah.

Wendy is in the attack survivor’s hospital room. She enchants the butterfly and it flies INTO the attack survivor’s ear. Eeeeeew.

Ingrid is outside the hospital freaking out about her friend. Adam arrives and Ingrid keeps freaking out. Adam kisses her. It’s a very long kiss. Ingrid gets a call that her friend is OK. She’s super happy. Adam’s nose starts bleeding and he collapses to the ground. Ingrid starts screaming. The hospital staff come out, and start administering CPR.

End of episode. This was a fun episode. Lots of action, lots of surprises. I really hope Freddie Prinze Jr. comes back. I really liked his character.

All pictures belong to Lifetime Television.