Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Witches of East End Recap - Episode 8

Holy backstory, Batman.

This is one of those episodes where not much happens. But we get a lot of backstory, and it's all pretty interesting. All in all, this was a good episode.

We meet up with Ingrid and Freya at the Bent Elbow. Ingrid is wearing her persimmon cardigan. I'm seeing a trend here. Good Ingrid wears cardigans, but Evil Ingrid doesn't wear cardigans. Freya’s trying to mix drinks, oops, magic potions, but Ingrid keeps asking her about the tarot card reading Joanna performed. Blah, blah, blah…Dash hates me… blah, blah, blah….destroyer… blah, blah, blah.

We're now in Fair Haven. Penelope magic's some dead white roses and writes a note.

Credits roll.

Not a lot of action so far.

Chez Beauchamps. Joanna shows Wendy the portal key. It’s a long gold serpent. Wendy freaks out.  Joanna doesn’t want to get rid of the key because it’s her only connection to their home. Wendy thinks this is stupid and reckless. You know, when Wendy Beauchamps think you’re doing something stupid, you’d better listen. Wendy knows stupid. Wendy and stupid are pals. And let's not talk about reckless. Reckless and Wendy are tight.

Well, that was a bracing bit of pseudo action. I hope you enjoyed it.

Back to the library, Mike is doing research. He asks Ingrid for help. That’s it.

Moving on. Freya and Killian are working at the Bent Elbow. They bicker. That’s it.

Thrilling, isn’t it?

Back at the house Joanna and Wendy are waiting for sundown to rebury the key. This makes no sense. Why did Joanna take it out if she's just going to rebury it? Anyway, the back story landslide begins. They key turned their father evil. Joanna misses her someone called Frederick. The key would allow her to see this Frederick person again. Joanna leaves and the backstory ends. They key leaps out of the box and attaches itself to Wendy’s arm. It seems to be biting her.

Commercial break. So far, we’ve had zombie flowers and carnivorous jewelry. Not bad.

Commercial’s over. Joanna tries to take the snake off. The snake’s venom spreads into Wendy’s veins, and seems to be controlling her. Evil Wendy. Awesome!

Back at the Bent Elbow, Amy breaks up with Killian. That’s it.

We return to the library, where Mike’s still doing research. He’s run out of books on the history of East End, and asks for books about the occult. And that’s it. No, really, one of the sub-plots in this episode is a guy doing research in a library.  Anyway, he chats with Ingrid and goes back to the books. Exciting.

Freya gets a delivery at the bar. It’s the bouquet of zombie roses. She thinks they’re from Dash. She pricks her thumb on a  zombie rose thorn.

Dum, dum, dum.

Penelope walks into the bar. Freya looks sick, and Penelope drags her out of the bar and takes her to Fair Haven.

Back at the Bauchamps, Evil Wendy wants to use the key to go back home. Hello, backstory. Joanna reminds her that they didn’t leave Asgard by choice, they were banished.  Wendy tries to leave to open the portal, but Joanna locks down the house. Wendy calls her a bitch. So far, Evil Wendy is a bit of a disappointment.

Commercial break. So the Beauchamps are Asgardian? They aren’t witches, they’re goddesses? Pretty cool.

Wendy’s still trying to get out of the house. Joanna tries to get the snake off.  Backstory time. Frederick is Joanna’s son. Joanna left him behind and the girls don’t know about it.

We’re now in Fair Haven. Penelope’s feeding Freya some tea. Freya falls asleep on the oriental rug, which is probably Pottery Barn. Pottery Barn is the Gardiner spirit animal. Penelope lights some candles and chants a spell.

We’re now in the library. It turns out that Mike is an author and Ingrid found his book. It’s called The Aesir of Midgard and it's nonfiction. Yes, Mike’s looking for Asgardian exiles. Coincidence? Mmmm. 

Back at the house, Wendy and Joanna are still fighting. More backstory. Joanna’s husband is around and lives nearby. It’s Joanna’s fault that the girls are cursed. 

Dum, dum, dum.

We go to the library. Mike is trying to convince Ingrid that witches exist and Asgard is connected to East End. Mike’s dad was obsessed with proving that the link existed, and Mike is trying to prove that his father was right. He thinks that the door to Asgard is in East End. I’m sorry? Bifrost the Rainbow Bridge is in the Hamptons? In the P. Diddy Hamptons?


Anyway, back at Fair Haven, Penelope finishes her spell. A light leaves Freya’s body and enters Penelope.

We head to the Beauchamps house and see that Joanna and Wendy are still fighting. Oh, no, they’re breaking up the pretty house.  The place is a wreck. They seem to have run out of back story though. That’s good.

Library time. Mike shows Ingrid an old piece of paper. He tells her that his father thought this was the map to Asgard. Ingrid notices a rune in the paper. It’s the evil rune used by the shifter.

Dash arrives at Fair Haven. Penelope asks him to get his medical bag.

Library again. Ingrid whispers a spell and realizes that the worn piece of paper really is a map of East End.

Back to Fair Haven. Dash tests Freya’s blood pressure. Penelope tells him that she fainted after they drank tea. Freya starts to feel better and Penelope leaves. Dash tells Freya that he didn’t go to the conference. He came back home to break up with her, but when he saw her sick, he realized that he loved her. They make up.

Mike finishes his research and leaves the library. This sub-plot is really exciting. Not.

Beauchamps house. Joanna and Wendy are still fighting. Joanna stabs Wendy’s hand and cuts out the key. The key is destroyed and Evil Wendy’s gone. Good riddance. Evil Wendy was kind of boring. Joanna bandages Wendy’s hand. Wendy sobs.

I'm not thrilled with the whole portal key thing. It was just a vehicle for a whole bunch of backstory and that's a cheap storytelling trick. Still, the backstory was pretty interesting so I'll let it pass.

Fair Haven. Dash takes Freya to his room and checks her over. Freya tells him she’s fine. He leaves to take a shower and Freya tries to magick a flame in the fireplace. It doesn’t work.

Dum, dum, dum.

Back at the Beauchamps house. The place is a mess, and I fear the Ikea chair is no more. Good by, Ikea chair. I really liked you. Joanna and Wendy sit by the fireplace. Wendy apologizes and Joanna tells her that it isn’t her fault. It was stupid to keep the key and Joanna only did it because it was a way to see Frederick again. Ingrid walks in and asks about Asgard, and the gate. Joanna rolls her eyes and tells her that the key to the gate was destroyed and no one can go to Asgard any more. Freya walks in and tells them that her powers are gone. Wendy rolls her eyes in a "how can this get worse" kind of way.

Back at Fair Haven, Penelope looks out a window. She magicks up a storm. She seems happy.

So, what did you think?  I really, really hope Thor is Joanna’s husband. That would be awesome. He probably isn’t though. Let’s see. Freya is the Asgardian goddess of love and war. Frederick would be her brother, Freyr, who was the god of agriculture. Their parents were the god of the sea and the goddess of the mountains. They had one of those eternally separated creation deities thing going. Kind of like the sky and earth. I have no idea who Ingrid is though. Idun? 

The world building also has me a bit confused. Freya and Frey are Vanir and I thought the Vanir were the ones who got kicked out of Asgard. Are they Aesir in this world? And what are the Aesir doing on the wrong side of the rainbow bridge? Time to dig out H.R. Ellis Davidson's Gods of Northern Europe.

I'm really intrigued, though, and I'm looking forward to the next episode.

All pictures belong to Lifetime Television.