Witches of East End Recap, Season 2, Episode 2

Beware of Witches bearing pie... and wine.

So, what’s life like after tentacle sex, you ask? Let’s find out.

Ingrid did not come home last night. Total shocker!

Joanna and Freya go outside to look for her. The find her unconscious in the yard. She’s fully clothed so this is actually a different day.

Dash is trying to use his powers. It doesn’t work. Killian’s “ghost” appears and taunts him. The blackmailer calls and asks for money. Dash blows up a table with his powers. Apparently, his powers only kick in when he’s stressed or emotional. Goody.

Ingrid wakes up.  She’s really hungry. So maybe Tentacle Guy is a type of vampire? Interesting. They head to the kitchen to feed Ingrid and there’s a great shot of the room. There’s a very pretty vine sculpture on the ceiling, and it’s very cool. 

Joanna starts to go into backstory. Ugh, more backstory.  What is it with this show and backstory?

But Aunt Wendy comes to the rescue! She interrupts the backstory (Yeay, Wendy!) and tells the girls that they have a brother and he’s upstairs. Frederick appears looking pouty. Turns out Frederick and Freya are twins. 

Wendy and Joanna talk in the yard. Blah, blah, blah… Frederick can’t be trusted… blah, blah, blah. Joanna says that Frederick was brainwashed. Wendy is skeptical.

They go back to the kitchen where Frederick is bonding with the girls. More backstory. I lose interest and start looking at the moldings. The kitchen is a lot more detailed and I love it.

On to the Caribbean. Killian and Owl Girl chat. They kiss.

Aunt Wendy’s bedroom. We see Wendy take off an earring and leave it on her dressing table.

Frederick steals the earring and… swallows it? Yuck. He chants a spell and then regurgitates the earring, which is now glowing eerily. This spell is actually grosser than Victor’s eels. Ugh. But it’s not in Latin so that’s something.

Wendy walks through a yard in cat form. Oh, it’s Herb Guy’s yard. Herb Guy pets her and goes back inside his house. She peeks in the window. Ooops, looks like herb guy has a wife and a daughter. The cat’s face is brilliant. Excellent CGI effect, they capture Madchen Amick’s expression exactly.

Ingrid goes to work. Her boss (whose name I can’t remember, Dr. Something?) is already there. He was basically forced to hire her and thinks she’s incompetent. Ingrid is not pleased. Um, didn’t she do a spell to get this job? Why is she getting all huffy now?

Dash leaves his home with a bag full of cash. Killian’s “ghost” taunts him about the blackmailer. Joanna and Wendy drop by with a pie and a bottle of wine. They want to apologize for the botched wedding and Penelope’s death. Um, seriously? They killed his mom and they think pie will make it better? Oh, Dash thinks his mother committed suicide. Well, I’m sure that’s going to make a difference.

Nope, it doesn’t. He doesn’t accept their apology or the pie. I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

Back to the Caribbean. Killian is playing cards with some locals. One of them gets angry and asks for his money back. The situation triggers Killian’s powers and the gambler suffers a weird seizure. Or maybe it’s the owl magic? It’s not clear. Anyway, lots of screaming and writhing. Killian looks confused.

Moving, on. We’re now at the East End Fourth of July picnic. Freya brings the Chardonnay (of course she does!) and Frederick uses his magic to open it up. The girls tell him that they don’t do magic in public and Frederick looks confused. Freya asks Frederick if he can teach her a spell that can find a person.  Frederick says he can.

Back at the library, Ingrid finds a book about her family. Wow, someone wrote a three-inch thick tome about the super-secret Nordic witch clan, how convenient. It even has pictures. She recognizes her mother and sister, but doesn’t recognize a figured labeled as “The Gatherer.”

Killian tells Owl Girl about what happened. Owl Girl tells him that he’s a brujo. She volunteers to do a santería spell to help him figure it out. Her grandma was a santera so she totes knows all about magic.

Oh, this is going to end well.

Fredrick and Freya do the spell. They astrally project to the hotel, which seems to be in the Dominican Republic. It’s called Hotel Corazón, which sounds like a good name for a whorehouse. They are attacked by an owl and reappear back at the house. Freya decides to go look for Killian.

I just realized that Killian’s sailboat drifted from Long Island to the Dominican Republic while he was unconscious. And he survived.  What?

Seriously, my parents sailed from Miami to San Juan once and it took three weeks. Did Killian spend six weeks unconscious aboard a drifting boat? For real? Also, doesn’t the North Atlantic Current go northwards? Shouldn’t he have ended up in Greenland or Norway? I guess he could have hit the Gulf Stream, but that would have sent him to Africa. I wonder if they’ll bother explaining this. Maybe Owl Girl magicked him toward the Caribbean? That would make some sense.

At the bar, Freya looks for a plane ticket while Frederick flirts with a bar patron. He makes origami swans, and now I’m wondering where in Asgard he learned to make origami. Anyway, Frederick leaves to go back to the picnic and Freya warns him not to do any magic. Stick to origami, Frederick.

At the library, Ingrid and her boss fight over the book. Ingrid uses magic to keep the book.

Back at the picnic, Frederick gives Wendy her earring back and leaves. Herb Guy shows up. He tells Wendy that he’s separated and introduces her to his daughter. Wendy smiles.

Dash arrives at the picnic. He leaves the bag full of cash under a bench.

Wendy brings Joanna a snow cone.  She feels a weird wind. Joanna looks at her strangely.

Ingrid’s boss arrives at the picnic. A weird shadow grabs him. Boy, I’m glad I didn’t bother to learn his name. Sounds like he’s a goner.

Back in the Dominican Republic, Killian and Owl Girl are doing a Santeria spell, which is, thankfully, not in Latin. Killian’s powers wake up. Owl Girl tells him that she has powers too and that’s why are meant to be together. They kiss and sexytimes ensue.

Back at the bar, a drunk patron attacks Freya for no reason. Frederick leaps to her defense, grabbing the guy around the neck. His eyes turn red and he seems to be strangling the guy.

Ingrid goes to the picnic. Dash grabs her and asks her about her brain abnormalities. They are interrupted by Ingrid’s boss who emerges from the woods covered in blood and screaming incoherently. He tears his shirt to reveal the weird symbol carved into his chest.

Herb Guy tells Wendy about the weird attacks. She asks about the carvings and the rantings. Hmm, that should be the name of the East End body piercing shop, Carvings and Rantings. Herb Guy tells her that he’s willing to give her the scoop over drinks.

Wow, creepiest date request ever. Hey, how about I give you inside info on the local serial killer while I try to get into your pants? Good thing Wendy’s not picky.

Joanna goes to the bar. Frederick and Freya tell her about the incident. Frederick says that he’s spent centuries fighting for his life and that means he lashes out automatically. So, he’s a traitor with anger management problems? Seems like a lot of baggage to pile on a character.

But we’re back at the house. There’s a storm outside, and Ingrid announced that she’s moving out. The sleepwalking/tentacle sex has made her realize that she needs to grow up and get her own place.

Not suspicious at all.

Freya gets a plane ticket to the Dominican Republic. Freya and Ingrid make magical fireworks. Wendy tells Joanna that she thinks that Frederick is behind the attacks. Joanna looks distraught.

Dash is in the Winterhaven attic looking through his MRI results. The blackmailer calls him. He asks for more money. Dash gets angry and breaks his computer with magic. Killian’s “ghost” comes back.

Is it me or is "ghost" Killian more interesting than real Killian at this point? I like "ghost" Killian.

End of episode.

This was a good episode. They’ve cut down on the backstory, which is great. The Killian storyline is a bit weird, though, and I’m not sure how he got to the Dominican Republic. The Santeria stuff is also confusing. Santeria doesn’t have owls and it works through spirit possession. Also, there should have been a dead chicken in there somewhere.

So far, there’s no breakthrough character this season. I’m getting bored with Frederick, all he seems to do is pout. Owl Girl is promising, but she’s no Penelope. However, I have high hopes for Tentacle Guy. 

Still, all in all, a good episode. I'm looking forward to the next one.

All pictures belong to Lifetime Television.