Sunday, October 5, 2014

Witches of East End - Season 2 - Episode 11



Back to the Past.

Joanna, Wendy and Freya are revisiting a past life and I’m running out of reasons to care about this show.

But enough about me.

They walk around a dock. The natives look at them strangely, probably because by local standards they are dressed in lingerie. Joanna says that it’s Baltimore 1848.

Ingrid and Gramps are having tea… under the tree where she was recently found dead? Ew. Grandpa explains that his new vessel won’t last long... blah, blah, blah. I’m not sure why Ingrid is so interested in bonding with her sociopath relative. It makes no sense. But, then again, I’m not sure anything about this show makes sense anymore.

Joanna leads Ingrid and Wendy down a street. She’s looking for something that will kill King/Grandfather permanently. How does she know that it will work? Because she used it to kill Freya once.

Dum, dum, dum.

Dash is back at the hospital, looking almost sane. Mystery Girl shows up, flashes her FBI badge and says she’s here to investigate the carving deaths. Dash looks significantly less sane. 

They look at some files and Mystery Girl tells Dash that they found another body floating in the river.
Dash's grip on sanity slips further.

Joanna and the girls go to a brothel. Apparently, they were the owners, which is pretty cool. Wendy goes nuts over her old wardrobe. Someone walks in and they hide behind the clothes. Past Wendy and Past Joanna come in fighting. Apparently, Victor just left and Joanna is not herself. The past selves leave and the girls steal some clothes and head out.

Dash goes to the morgue to visit his floater. Eew, that’s gross. He steals some teeth, which is even more gross. Then he hears a heartbeat. It’s all very Edgar Allan Poe.

Botanica time. The babalao and Not Eva say they can help Killian to break the curse between him and Freya. It’s too late for this life, but it will work in others. It’s a very expensive spell. It will cost Killian his life.


The girls are in a stable, bored. They have to wait until midnight, when Past Joanna kills Past Freya, so Joanna can get the weapon. Freya wants to know why her murder murdered her.

It’s flashback time.

Past Freya is serving bar and Killian shows up. Freya makes a special toast and asks Killian to come back after closing for a fortune telling. Apparently, the whole sex-for-money thing doesn't pay very well so the girls supplement their income by telling fortunes. She draws a tarot spread and Past Killian’s life is very similar to Present Killian’s life. In more ways than one, Past Killian and Past Freya end up making out.

Killian was Edgar Allan Poe? That’s cute, very cute. I'm starting to care again.


Ha! Freya almost flunked English because of Poe so she is quite upset about having been his muse in a past life. She was the inspiration for the Annabel Lee poem. Wendy was the inspiration for The Black Cat. But Freya broke the Omertà Code and told Poe that they were witches. This is cute. I'm still upset because of the Dread Episode 10 Massacre, but things seem to be looking up.

Poe’s inspiration dried up and he started drinking. Freya knows how to cure this… bring out the Ouija board!

 I guess they didn’t have horror movies in 1848 Baltimore.

A spirit appears (of course) and possesses Freya. Poe exorcises it. Or does he? Dum, dum, dum.

Back at East End, Gramps wants to find out why Joanna went to the past. He wants to greet Joanna back with a spell, but he needs a human sacrifice. He turns back into Bug Boy to go victim-hunting.

You know what that means, right? Yep, back to the Bent Elbow Bar. He picks up a girl at the bar. This is surprisingly easy, considering that the town has recently had a spate of serial killer deaths. Shouldn't the natives be a bit spooked? Guess not.

Mystery Girl shows up at Fairhaven. Dash freaks out, but she’s just here to make out.

Gramps is walking with the girl from the bar. They’re in The Forest Where Everything Bad Happens so, of course, something bad happens. Bar Girl in now Doomed Bar Girl because Gramps need a beating heart for his spell.

Beauchamps kitchen. Gramps is washing the blood off his hands. His beating heart ritual worked and he’s about to tell Frederick what he learned, but Ingrid shows up. He hurriedly shifts back into his grandpa shape.

Back to flashback. Poe didn’t exorcise the spirit and Past Freya is now Jack the Ripper. Poe tells Past Wendy and Past Wendy decides to exorcise the spirit herself.


The babalao and Not-Eva give Killian a potion that will kill him and end the curse. Suuuuure....

I’m not sure why he trusts these people. Eva was brainwashing him, after all. And the botanica’s name includes the word “infierno.” That’s usually a clue. 

Past Wendy confronts Possessed Freya, but the evil spirit kills her.

Past Ingrid finds Past Wendy’s dead body. She goes to find Past Joanna who is lost in an opium haze. Past Joanna says that she can’t help, but she knows someone who can. A mysterious man brings them a box that will rip the spirit out of the hose and send it back to Hell. It works, but it will kill Possessed Freya. Past Ingrid knows that she will die too, but she thinks that they don’t have a choice.

It’s a very cool scene, but a bit incongruous. Last episode Joanna was completely distraught by the deaths of the girls, but in this episode, Past Joanna is planning to murder them. It’s all very strange.

Back at Fairheaven, Mystery Girl snoops around the house while Dash sleeps. She finds the weird substance in the fireplace. Dash finds her, but she turns it into a S&M thing where he punishes her for her snooping.

Wow. These FBI agents are really dedicated.

Beauchamps house. Ingrid tells Grandfather that she wants to go back to Asgard. Gramps is very pleased, but he needs to take care of Joanna and company first. He sends Spike to the past to get them.

Mystery Girl sends the substance from Dash’s attic for testing. She thinks it’s the same substance they found on the submerged body.

Ingrid shows up at Fairhaven. She quickly explains to Dash that no, she’s not dead anymore. Blah, blah… Evil Grandfather… need help… blah, blah... have plan to get rid of Evil Grandfather. Dash accepts all her explanations and agrees to help. He forgets to mention that he’s been boinking Mystery Girl. I mean, why ruin the moment, right?

Killian is in a fleabag hotel preparing to drink the potion. He gets a call from Dash but ignores it and drinks the potion.

Killian is so stupid.

Past Ingrid and Past Joanna chant a spell that will lead Possessed Freya to them so they can use the box.

Possessed Freya shows up. Past Joanna uses the box and Past Freya dies.

Then another Joanna shows up and takes the box. Present Joanna says that she’s been carrying that memory for years, not knowing what it meant. They are going to go get the box at midnight and use it to send Grandfather’s spirit to Hell.


This is very cool. Totally awesome. I love the time travel stuff. Its fabulous and it totally explains the abrupt ending to the last episode. Unfortunately, it doesn’t explain the disastrous Eva storyline and why the girls had to die and be brought back. This almost makes up for the epic horror that was Episode 10. Almost.

All pictures belong to Lifetime Television.