Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Witches of East End Recap - Season 2 - Episode 4


The East End forest. Joanna is casting a spell… in English? Yeesh, I was really hoping for some Old Norse. A weird eagle thing appears then vanishes. Joanna looks happy, which makes me wonder if this actually a funeral spell for Victor.

The shadowy thing appears and blows out her candles. Creepy music ensues.

Freya is sleeping. The phone rings but she doesn’t wake up. She’s dreaming she’s back in the seventies. Oh my word, it’s Wiccan Soul Train and Freya is wearing a wicked red dress. Killian appears in full Saturday Night Fever regalia. This is fabulous. Uh oh, Dash is there, looking… wow… I don’t even know how to describe this. The costume department did a great job. He also looks pretty jealous. Freya meets Killian in a bathroom stall and they make out. Sleeping Freya seems to be having fun.

Ingrid wakes up Freya and asks her if she’s okay. Apparently, she’s been sleeping for days. Freya explains that she developed a serum out of Ingrid’s magic brownie recipe and she's using it to visit her past lives. We missed an eighties flashback? Rats. I'm heartbroken. 

Ingrid tells her it’s a bad idea. Freya tells her that her past lives are a lot happier than her current life. Yes, Freya that's because you're the only person in the world who can look back on her seventies pictures and not be completely horrified. Ingrid looks worried and I don't blame her, I bet she got stuck with the bell-bottoms.

Joanna, Wendy and Frederick are in the kitchen doing research on the weird shadowy thing. It’s a mandragora, a dangerous magical creature.  Frederick explains that “grandfather” (Um, can we start calling him Odin yet? This grandfather thing is very awkward) has recruited the mandagoras for his army. Joanna decides to consult with a mandragora expert.

Freya arrives at the bar, where Killian is cleaning up. They chat and Freya is about to tell Killian that she still loves him when Owl Girl shows up. Owl Girl’s family is coming for a visit! Oh, that’s awesome. I’m hoping for a super-evil santera grandmother. Bonus points if she’s played by Shelley Morrison.

Freya can’t take the lovey-dovey antics and goes to the storage room. She takes out her magic brownie serum and takes a long drink.

Back to the hospital. Dash resuscitates a dying boy. I guess expensive New England private schools no longer teach “The Monkey’s Paw.” We are losing our culture, guys. Evil Zombies will take over this country and the Common Core will be to blame.

Joanna and Wendy go to New York. The mandragora expert is called Alex and she is totally badass. She arrives in a stretch limo and killer hair and tells Joanna to go to hell. I like her already. 

Dash and Ingrid are in the hospital. He’s examining her. Ingrid notices that Dash’s hands are turning blue. This does not look good.

Alex arrives at the Beauchamps house. She looks fierce and she carries her supplies in a Louis Vuitton bag! I love her! She tells them that mandragoras feeds through sex (“I wish I could do that,” says Wendy) and all they have to do is find its mate and kill her. Joanna has one of the mandragora’s scales and they plan to use it to lay a trap for the monster.

Gee, I wonder who the mate is? Hmmm.

Killian goes to look for Freya. She’s still tripping in the storage room. She makes out with Seventies Dash. Seventies Killian finds her and tells her that she has to tell Seventies Dash the truth. She wants to, but she’s too afraid of Seventies Dash, who is apparently a dangerous magical dope dealer, who kind of looks like Willie Wonka. 

We’re still in the flashback. Freya is magicking cocaine for Seventies Dash. She tells Dash that she’s out. Dash blames Killian. Hm, apparently they aren’t brothers in the flashback. Freya leaves and Dash threatens her.

Back at the hospital, Ingrid tells Dash that he has to return the death to the boy he resuscitated. Dash is horrified, but Ingrid explains that "returning the death" is totally different from "killing" because, reasons.

Alex sets the mandragora trap with Wendy and Frederick. The trap is a bowl filled with dry ice and I'm a bit disappointed. You can do better, guys. Alex is a seer and she uses her precognitive powers to run a hedge fund. And also to define her biceps, seriously, her arms are amazing. She’s also totally bitchy. Awesome. She’s about to tell Wendy her future, but Joanna interrupts. She tells Wendy that she doesn’t want to know. Alex is about to tell her anyway, but the bowl shatters and the trap is sprung.

Alex grabs a poison dart and puts it in her gun. She’s going to the forest to hunt. Joanna tags along. Bitchiness ensues. I like the Alex and Joanna, Monster Hunters subplot. They're like Cagney and Lacey, but with better clothes.


Dash is in the hospital about to “return the death" to the boy. The boy’s mom comes in and tells him that her son is in total remission, the cancer is completely gone and it's all thanks to Dash. Dash leaves, looking upset. He pulls up his sleeve and notices that the dark tinge is now in his arms.

Back at the hospital, a criminal is brought to the emergency room. He has a bullet wound and is bleeding profusely, but he is going to make it. Dash looks thoughtful.

Ingrid enters the Beauchamps house. She stops and stares at the fire. Then she leaves the house looking spellbound.

Back to Freya’s flashback. Seventies Freya comes back home. We get to see the Beauchamps house in seventies décor. Yeay! Joanna has a pappadum chair and a bead curtain. She also has a Pottery Barn quilt over the sofa. What is it with this show and Pottery Barn? But, overall, I love this flashback. It even explains Joanna's macramé obsession.

 Anyway, we meet Seventies Alex who has a killer afro and is making fondue. Freya tells her mom that she’s going to California to be with Seventies Killian. Alex reads her palm and tells her that she and Killian are star-crossed. She tells her that she has to let Killian go. Freya gets angry and leaves.

Half-naked Ingrid wakes up on the forest floor.

Dash “returns” the boy’s death to the criminal. This actually works. Interesting, Asgardian magic seems to have loopholes.

Ingrid visits Dash at Winterhaven. Dash lets her assume that he returned the death to the boy. She's very relieved, which is kind of disturbing. She asks about her exam results and he tells her that there’s nothing physically wrong with her. She freaks out and asks him to watch her sleep.

Frederick's room at the Beauchamps house. He's taking off his shirt. The weird symbol on his chest glows. He has a seizure and starts foaming at the mouth. Wendy heals him. He gets better and tells her that he’s been having seizures since he came through the portal. He asks Wendy to keep quiet about the seizure until after they kill the mandragora. Wendy agrees which strikes me as kind of weird.

Alex and Joanna are hunting in the forest. Oh. Wow. Alex is the new love interest. Wow. Double wow. Man, I hope she lasts longer than Victor. Apparently, Joanna broke up with her because Freya’s reading went awry.

Back at Winterhaven, Dash watches Ingrid sleep.

Alex and Joanna find the mandragora nest. Joanna sees one of Ingrid’s shoes. She tries to stop Alex from shooting the mandragora but Alex is too fast. The poison dart hits the creature in the arm.

Ingrid wakes up clutching her arm.


Commercial break. Geico and M&Ms are doing a commercial together. This is wrong. Just wrong.

Back to the flashback. Freya’s gold dress is amazing. The wardrobe people went all out for this episode and the actors look like they're having a ball. Seventies Dash shoots Seventies Killian. Freya wakes up from the magic brownie trip.

Back at Winterhaven, Dash bandages Ingrid’s arm. He ask her why she hasn’t told her family. Ingrid goes nuts and attacks him. The mandragora shows up and starts sucking his life force. Crap, Alex said something about the effects of mandragora poison but I totally forgot about it. Insanity? Death? I'm hoping for insanity. Crazy Dash would be really cool.

Back at the bar, Freya tells Killian that she’s happy that he’s found Eva. She sounds sort of, kind of, totally insincere. Eva is also at the bar pouring a magic potion into a drink. She gives the drink to Killian.

Alex and Joanna arrive at Winterhaven. They are too late and the mandragora disappears with Ingrid. 
Oh man, is Dash dead? Seriously? Just when he was getting interesting?
Oh, well. At least we have Alex now.

Great episode. Absolutely awesome. Perfect. The writers are still repeating plots, but I didn't really care. The seventies flashback was brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Wendy's jokes are back. Frederick didn't pout even once. There was fondue. This episode was fabulous. And kudos to the WoEE wardrobe people, amazing job.

 All pictures belong to Lifetime Television.